England, Autumn, and the Blahs

I wrote before about how hard this transition from holiday to home has been on me. Now both Steve and I are in a very “blah” state where we aren’t feeling this whole being back home thing. Yesterday we both decided that we’re slightly ill. He’s had a cough and body aches, I’ve had a headache and sneezing. I’ve had the difficulty sleeping, which some nights I lick, and some nights I can stay awake until 4AM. Steve’s been more tired as well and wanting to go to bed earlier than usual.

There’s nothing really exciting going on. The weather is that gloomy, cloudy business. I use to love Fall (or Autumn if you’re of the British persuasion) but I keep thinking that it’s going to be like this for four or five months. Bleh. Plus, there is no work to be seen, so I’ve not been out of the house in an employment capacity since July.

Also, the project I thought was going to be so great, just isn’t sitting right with me. Every time I write a scene, I know I’m going to have to rewrite or cut it. (Which I guess if fine because I was reading today that Maya Angelou writes ten pages and keeps two or three.) It’s frustrating, but I know that’s part of the job. I know I’m letting myself get in the way of getting something done too. I just want to get my teeth locked into to something, like I did with my other projects, but this one just doesn’t want to come alive, I’m afraid.

I have a Creative Writing degree, but I may get back into some workshops. I’ve been following some webinars online, just to try and jog my creative juices. It has given me plenty to think about as far as structure of the story, but when I sit down to write, like now, I end up staring out the window. I even have coffee, so I’m struggling. I also read this week that writer’s block is just having too much time on your hands. Wow, is that true.

Anyway, since I’ve been home, I’ve been bored with just everything. I’ve gone into town, I’ve read, I’ve tried to get back into the groove of daily life here. I’ve almost gotten it, but meh…the blahs are just too prevailing.

Twitter hasn’t had much discussion lately, I haven’t wanted to play GTA V, Saints Row IV, or Sims 3, and I’ve picked up tons of books, read a few pages, then set them down. I even tried getting back into Downton Abbey – I fell asleep. And so on, and so on.

I think the homesickness has just been increased since I haven’t been back for so long. My old hometown isn’t much to look at, but Florida itself, and America itself (despite all this stupid government crap that is one of the few reasons I hesitate living there), is great. Plus, it just gets pretty boring being at home every day alone, even if I do, presumably, have things to do. Oh well, I’ll get my groove back eventually.

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