Boredom and moral responsibility in writing

Steve’s been on holiday this week and yesterday we went to Beamish to get our usual year-round pass. We really love it out there, and going in the middle of the week was fun because it was quiet. (Sadly, the chippy is only open on weekends though.)

So, the sleep thing has been okay, I guess. I go to sleep on time (whether on the couch or straight to bed) and I wake up at 7:30-8-ish, and finally get up by 8:30 because I’m bored of lying there.

Bored is just the key phrase for a while. Winter is just so blah, especially in cold climates when everything is dead and gray and, well, blah. I don’t work, I don’t have people to hang out with, I don’t have any means of getting prissy – everything is just different than it was in Florida. Obviously most of it is 100% better, and I’d never want Steve to have to live in a state where we’re full of gun crime and gangs (Last week there was a shooting at a campus for the old college I use to attend and teach at. Year before last there was a shooting at the hotel down the street from where we stay. It’s becomes commonplace.)

Anyway, with all this blah-ness, I’ve lost interest in reading. I try to get interested, but I only read a few pages at a time before I put it down again. I’ve tried to find something else, non-YA but, meh, it’s something I’ve stopped forcing.

With my last post about there being millions of writers in the world, I depressed myself. My Critique Partner is waiting on my next chapter and I haven’t worked on it for a while. I use to lie in bed at night and plan out the storyline in my head. With the career crap and the insomnia, I just end up worrying now. It’s become a bad habit I have to get out of.

I had outlined a story that I’ve thought about for years, but I came up with it when I was in Florida. It’s more thriller-based than I’m comfortable with now, so I’d really rather not write it. I’m wondering if other writers feel a moral responsibility when they write as well. I know writing the book wouldn’t be positive for my brains, so it certainly won’t be positive for anyone else’s. This is why I want to stick to writing for the 12-14 year old audience. I want to write the uplifting and the fun. I could do horror or thrillers, but it’s depressing and depressing is not something I want to revisit.

Remember, I lived in Central Florida for 20 years. I know what depressing looks like. (Of course, when you step away from it and come back for visits, you see how fun it can be. Insert Florida Tourism Promotion here.)

I guess some people just write what comes into their heads, just like the meditate whatever comes into their minds too (i.e. my recent dilemma with the insomnia and worry). Maybe not everyone thinks about it as much. I don’t want to delve into the sad, angry, and heart-breaking, and I don’t want to make a reader sad, angry, or heartbroken either. I would feel wrong for doing it. There’s too much for writers and readers to be upset with in the real world as is.

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