An update for November 2021

Well,I missed a whole month and didn't update for October. At least not here, I didn't.

Thanksgiving is over and Christmas is upon us. I have done absolutely nothing other than look after Jack, which is fulfilling in itself and I stopped worrying about not being able to work on my book or doodle in my bullet journal. There just isn't time when you're chasing an almost 2 year old around. (And I do mean chase.)

I didn't do NaNoWriMo. I didn't finish the online business classes I signed up for. We haven't done any holidays. We've had a few days to ourselves (me and Steve, I mean) and the rest of the time has been the routine of the household and the keeping of things functioning as normal.

I did, however, update the Jack's Mum Podcast yesterday and I primarily update short entries at suzanne.micro.blog when I think of something quick to jot down. Other than that, I'll write something more in December maybe, but until then, I hope everyone is winding down 2021 well.

An update for June 2021

It’s been hot up north lately which is lovely for England because we don’t squander our days in the sun. Most of the time we’ve been playing with Jack in the garden or taking him on walks with his trike.

Steve’s birthday was on the 1st and we had our first date (breakfast by the river) since 2019. The rest of that weekend we spent as a family hanging out then Jack got sick had to stay home from nursery (and get a Covid test — negative).

I really need to start back up with the podcast because I have lots of stuff to talk about with taking a toddler out and about how that lockdown has eased. We’ve done two restaurants outside and lots of kid-friendly events like the farm, a sensory room, swim lessons, and walks. We even got him a new trike but quickly discovered those are not for long trips when the child gets tired because the one we have doesn’t recline. (It was also the only one decent-rated online that was available: a Kingerkraft Aston.)

Other than that, we’re getting on as we do. Steve is still working from home and I’m doing my management course at work so hopefully, I can get that done by the autumn of this year.

Still no official word about our trip to Florida, but we still plan on seeing the Picks next month for Jack’s christening. It will be two years since we’ve seen our families.

 

Starting nursery and back to work at the library

 

Guys, it's just been a week.

We took Jack to nursery for the first time. That was a nightmare and a half. He did fine, aside from the crying at the beginning and end of the sessions, but I cried and cried. I don't know how many other mothers right now are feeling completely overwhelmed and completely helpless to all that's going on right now. It's hard enough having to leave your child, but without any family nearby, and no ability to see friends or co-workers, we've had no one else around that baby but us.

Granted, he's had some baby classes, which I'm really thankful for, but letting someone else hold him and cuddle him made me sick to my stomach. How was that child going to handle that?

Everyone told me that this was all going to be harder on me and that babies are really resilient and they handle things like nursery quite well. But after seeing him reach out to me on our last visit, and I had to walk away from him, I don't know if they just realize that their parents doesn't care and isn't going to help them, so they have to just deal with the situation.

Like the idea of them self-soothing and crying it out when you figure the baby just gives up on anyone coming to help them. (At least, that's what I always feared.)

With all of this going on, I have to get ready to go back to work on Monday. I honestly am excited to see people again and not be on mummy duty all day, but how am I going to handle not being on mummy duty? I'm always on mummy duty!

Steve is going to split his working from home days so he has afternoons with Jack while I'm at work. This is only going to be for three days, which seems like an eternity, so we'll see how that goes.

I'm also worried about bring Covid into the house because I've been in my safe home bubble for a year. Also, Jack's developed a cold, so he's not sleeping well and feeling crappy, so this is all terribly stressful.

Now that it's the end of my maternity leave, I'm really sad that my magical year with Jack is over. It's been tougher than I ever imagined, but I've enjoyed being a stay at home mum. I've wanted to run away from the house screaming (and did during the first lockdown, if we're being honest) but I've been so grateful to have all this time with him. 

So, I'll miss him and I think that's the hardest part. I'll miss spending my day chatting with him and chasing him and wondering when I'll ever be able to sit down again. I won't know what to do with myself.

I was really convinced that I was going to write a lot and be really productive this year, but I just wasn't. I focused on the one thing that was the most important and that was raising a happy little guy.

A blog update for 19 January 2021

I’m writing this at 9:30 at night while I’m holding Jack. We’ve had a power cut and this poor sweaty child hasn’t had a bath. It doesn’t help that he decorated himself with apple sauce at lunchtime, but never mind. Steve had to light the gas stove with a match to get some water boiled to make a bottle for Jack. I was tempted to go across the street and ask someone to heat a bottle for him in one of the neighbors’ microwaves but I didn’t have to. Poor kid still is dirty. I go back to work in two weeks. I am not pleased by this just because I feel like I’m abandoning Jack. Steve sees this as an opportunity for Jack to be somewhere else, playing with other kids, being part of the world, learning and doing and not being stuck in the house all day with us. - LATER - It is now Tuesday. The electricity went on at 10PM last night, so luckily we had some heat through the night. I'll be so ready to get this baby into the bath tonight (and myself into the shower!) I had a nice chat with one of the girls at work today, so they know to expect me in a couple of weeks. (My poor baby!) It's still raining and I doubt a family walk with by on the cards for the evening. This is all we can do -- take walks when Jack isn't napping or when the weather approves (so, rare). I'm still struggling to get any real writing done, so 200 words a day is the best I can aim for. I want to get the YA series out of the door but, alas, time isn't really a thing anymore. (And, yes, I know people say that's not an excuse but when you have a one year old, that is the only thing you can concentrate on.) Well, I'm being summoned once again by the man of the house, so here's to randomly updated blog posts. Oh! And I have a podcast now! Jack's Mum is where I talk all about mummying.

After Christmas and before New Year's 2021

 

Tomorrow my baby with be one year old. It is insane and amazing. I’m excited, proud, and sad. This means that the magical year of being together is over. It means the tiny newborn who needed me with him constantly will soon have to go to nursery and not know where I am. I honestly don’t even know how I’m going to cope being away from him.

Luckily, my work has allowed me to return part time on a trial basis, so I have three days in the library office abs four days at home. Steve is working from home anyway, so he can work a staggered schedule while Jack is down the street playing and painting and making friends. (At least, this is what I tell myself.)

I did not finish a book this year. Most days I barely had time to take a shower or even find time to eat. I did some things that I consider progress because I found a niche for my book series and started working on it. However, I’m not even half way through the first draft of the first of four books. But that’s just how it is and at least I have focus and a goal which is a lot better than where I was before. In 2019 I was pregnant and too exhausted to do anything and I didn’t even know what I was going to write when I had this whole year off.

I didn’t finish reading a book either. I have loads of books that need reading and/or reviewing but that is way down on my list of priorities.

So what am I looking forward to in 2021? What can we look forward to, really? I can hope that lockdown eases up a bit, so Jack and I can go play together. I hope that Florida gets its act together so we can visit my parents.

I have planned on a mummy blog and a podcast for the future, so that’s something to focus on. Aside from my family, there’s nothing really meaningful or mentally distracting to get involved with in 2021.

An update for October 2020

I'll start off with my important public announcement:  don’t get gel manicures unless you want to pay to get one every month. My nails are completely ruined from that polish chipping and ripping a layer of nail off.

Jack is 9 months now and I’ve started Keeping in Touch days at work. There’s not a load of IT going on and no one-to-one sessions for me to do with customers so I’m just a gal in the library.

(I’m learning what I can and cannot touch in there too.)

These days my life is based on keeping Jack entertained, bottles, naps, and so many nappy changes. I try to keep up with my reading and have opted for lighthearted, fun YA rom-coms by indie authors. Of course, I still have Midnight Sun to get back to.

I finally bought an Archer and Olive B6 dotted journal, so the new bullet journal is taking shape very slowly. Steve told me to stop worrying about how wonky everything looks and just do it for myself. Sound advice. I am not a good artist and my spreads are simple but I enjoy it, and now with a journal with thicker paper, I can try watercolor pens. I’ve always envied the people who could go to art supply stores and buy things they would use. Now I can be one of those people.

I’m wondering about getting an Instax camera for Christmas. I’ve looked at them loads of times, but never bought one. Since we tend to go to National Trust places (or, at least we used to) and walks, I thought it would be a good idea to use for mini pictures in my bullet journal. I guess that makes it sort of a scrapbook of sorts as well. I like that idea.

My birthday was good, despite the lack of Florida trips or restaurants or anything other than hanging out at home with takeaways, presents, and my family. But, honestly, that’s what made it a great day.

Writing has been. I have things in motion more than I had in a lot of recent months, so I’m glad of that. I still only have little snippets of time when Jack is napping or Steve’s looking after him, so I don’t get a lot done. Also, as always, I’ve rethought my approach for the current WIP so I can either start from the beginning or keep on with my new ideas.

And with spooky season on its way, get out there, grab your pumpkins, and do your best to enjoy October.