It’s Monday and the last day of my self isolation. I got pinged last Tuesday right as I sat down for lunch at the library. It said I’d come in close contact with someone who tested positive. The only place I’ve used my app is at baby classes because that’s the only place we really go for extended periods of time, so I assume I came in contact at the activity centre.
Steve is still working from home and Jack is back at nursery. It’s summer term so I’m trying to find things for us to do while he’s off at nursery for a couple of weeks.
I guess it’s silly to post on a blog that you’re tired of the internet and social media, but it’s the truth. This has been about my only hobby I’ve had consistently for a long time and it’s started to make me anxious and frustrated. I told Steve that it makes the real world feel slow when everything we could possibly want to be engaged in is right in our hand in one device. I uploaded an Off Screen app to try and limit how much I use my phone at home. I know it’s the easiest, go to relaxation tactic but when it’s getting more of a nuisance than anything, it’s time to step back.
I don’t really look at my Twitter feed anymore. My Instagram I look at occasionally. My Facebook is my prime app that gets used because I know people in real life and I care about keeping in touch with them.
The other past time is shopping online which doesn’t really prove as anything other than frustrating because I’m working part time now and don’t have much of a budget to buy Willy-Nilly anymore.
Writing my books is a big goal now that I’m a little past half way through the draft of the first book in the series. I know the main goal of having the series done is way off but I call it a personally goal to have a lot of it done (and not hate it).
Also, the podcast and the mummy blog is one I want to start and call myself a blogger.

An Update for November 2020

Halloween is over. It's time to get the Christmas lights up and prepare for Thanksgiving. In England, we're still in Lockdown 2.0 so there are limits on what Jack and I can do this month. Luckily, we're allowed to go back to one of his baby classes so we have that to look forward to each week. Plus, it's good for him to keep seeing other kids, I think. Mister Pick and I have already started getting ready for Christmas because, like many people this month, we figure why not celebrate early and enjoy the season after the crazy year we've had? I can't go to any Keeping in Touch days at work and I haven't ventured to even walk around the mostly-closed mall. I've just been taking walks with the family and keeping our heads above water. At least this lockdown was something we could prepare for and knew what to expect. I'm still trying to keep up with NaNoWriMo 2020 but today I discovered I lost a chapter from yesterday. It's not great literature, but it did make me feel like I'll never get anything accomplished. It's tough to steal moments to write, so it's that much tougher than it would be if I wasn't mummying 24/7. It's also tough to keep up the bullet journal but I did at least start a November spread today (even though I'm a couple weeks late). I've considered starting a blog just devoted to writing with tips and activities, prompts and writer interviews but, again, I don't know when I'll have the time to get that together. I at least got bookblogarama active again after being on hiatus for a long time. And with that said, I'll close this update because block editor in Wordpress has just deleted text from this entry. (I'm doing well with technology today!) It isn't a riveting post but I hope everyone is keeping well and getting their writing done. Happy November!

An update for October 2020

I'll start off with my important public announcement:  don’t get gel manicures unless you want to pay to get one every month. My nails are completely ruined from that polish chipping and ripping a layer of nail off.

Jack is 9 months now and I’ve started Keeping in Touch days at work. There’s not a load of IT going on and no one-to-one sessions for me to do with customers so I’m just a gal in the library.

(I’m learning what I can and cannot touch in there too.)

These days my life is based on keeping Jack entertained, bottles, naps, and so many nappy changes. I try to keep up with my reading and have opted for lighthearted, fun YA rom-coms by indie authors. Of course, I still have Midnight Sun to get back to.

I finally bought an Archer and Olive B6 dotted journal, so the new bullet journal is taking shape very slowly. Steve told me to stop worrying about how wonky everything looks and just do it for myself. Sound advice. I am not a good artist and my spreads are simple but I enjoy it, and now with a journal with thicker paper, I can try watercolor pens. I’ve always envied the people who could go to art supply stores and buy things they would use. Now I can be one of those people.

I’m wondering about getting an Instax camera for Christmas. I’ve looked at them loads of times, but never bought one. Since we tend to go to National Trust places (or, at least we used to) and walks, I thought it would be a good idea to use for mini pictures in my bullet journal. I guess that makes it sort of a scrapbook of sorts as well. I like that idea.

My birthday was good, despite the lack of Florida trips or restaurants or anything other than hanging out at home with takeaways, presents, and my family. But, honestly, that’s what made it a great day.

Writing has been. I have things in motion more than I had in a lot of recent months, so I’m glad of that. I still only have little snippets of time when Jack is napping or Steve’s looking after him, so I don’t get a lot done. Also, as always, I’ve rethought my approach for the current WIP so I can either start from the beginning or keep on with my new ideas.

And with spooky season on its way, get out there, grab your pumpkins, and do your best to enjoy October.

An update for May 2020

I'm trying out my new keyboard. It's red with typewriter type keys. I never thought about getting one of these before until I saw a post where a girl had a pink, compact one for her iPad. (I need one of those too.)

It’s been so long since I’ve used the computer, and right now, Steve is watching Jack while I get ready for Steve’s birthday tomorrow. (I found his cards! Hooray!)

We’re still under lockdown here, unlike the US apparently who have restaurants open and like is “back to normal.” I still haven’t been to the shops since March, I’m guessing, so the only thing we’ve done is take walks. Sometimes I’ll take a ride in the car with Jack, just for a change of scenery, but that’s it.

To be honest, I don’t know what else I could be doing with the baby other than taking classes or going to the zoo, visiting the library, or other little activities just to pass the time. I worried a lot about “wasting” my maternity leave under lockdown, but I’ve accepted that there’s nothing I can do about it, and Jack’s happy with us, so it’s fine.

Jack has been sleeping better at night (touch wood), so I started journaling and bullet journaling again. I’ve also looked into working on my current WIP (at least I chose one) to keep up with and can tie into JuNoWriMo.

Anyone else doing that? Or has lockdown just been one big writing fest for everyone else? I’m so out of the loop and full of baby life that nothing else really is important.

I’ve messed around on the phone during Jack’s naptimes and want to work more on my author page and my imprint for when I do get my books back to publishing form. (I’ve been saying this for years, haven’t I?) I have only eight more months to be at home so maybe I can get something done but, again, I can’t really worry about that. There is just hardly any time with Jack’s schedule.

The funny thing is, I really thought I would have time to write this year. Yeah, not going to happen. Oh well!

I hope you all are writing and keeping safe. Here’s to a good June!

An update for February 2020

Jack has arrived!

Our boy was born on the 29th of December and I’ve been in a whirlwind of baby ever since.

Right now, I’m holding him with one hand and trying to type with the other. Motherhood will make you learn to improvise all sorts of things, I’ve noticed. (Eating with one hand. Sleeping with your hand in a cot. Having your husband hold the baby while you go to anywhere other than the bed because, otherwise, the baby cries when you set him down. Etc.)

Aside from trying to keep the baby’s weight up, which is ironic since my whole pregnancy was devoted to worrying about what a big baby he was, I have been trying to get out and about and stay active. This photo was taken during our first walk at the park.

Now, since I am pretty much stuck to the house and can’t really do much more than watch TV while I feed the boy, I have plans on how to keep myself sane during my maternity leave.

First: exercise. The easiest thing to do now, aside from sitting in bed all day, is to walk with the baby in the pram. I try to find places to take him during the week while Mister P. is at work, so that the day differentiates to the night.

Second: writing. Now, this is tricky because I can only type one handed at the moment (Jack hates the baby bouncer I have in the computer room, otherwise, I’d let him sit in there for a few minutes and give myself typing time.) So, its going to have to be me taking the laptop to a café and letting him sit in the pram.

I’ve decided to start with the basics, such as the blog (ta dah!) and maybe start some Medium stories. I was planning on writing something in draft form for Wattpad but I’ve also discovered Substack and Scribophile. (Has anyone used either?)

Third: bullet journal. This may not seem important on one’s list of to-dos but I dearly miss it. I’ve tried to grab snippets of time when I can use both hands for a quick weekly spread, or a list of TV shows to watch (because that’s pretty much all I do these days). But without the zen-like ability to quietly sit at my desk while I find the perfect washi tape, or look at tutorials on YouTube for making great Valentine’s Day doodles, it’s just not as fulfilling as it could be. Still, I’m grateful for whatever time I can use for organization and preparedness.

Fourth: reading. Well, this one does have options that I’m pleased about. I have the Kindle app on my phone, so I don’t have to go digging around for my Kindle or the book at the side of my bed. The trouble is, I’m only going to read a page at a time before I either get distracted by the baby or I start to nod off. Still, plenty of time to read for a few minutes when I’m said somewhere with the pram.

And those are my main objectives for the next bunch of months. Nothing new and nothing out of the ordinary. I suppose they’re resolutions of sorts but all of them take the back seat when it comes to being a mother and focusing my attention on Baby Jack.

But with that said, I hope everyone had a fab Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Update before Christmas 2019

We're now 3 days away from Christmas and I’ve been on maternity leave from the library since the 14th of December. I spent my last evening at a work Christmas party so I wasn’t as melancholy about being away from my regular people as much as I could have been. However, it was insanely weird to not be at the library on Monday and not be expected to be at work all last week. I got listless and bored quickly, but being as heavily pregnant as I am now (only 1 week and 3 days left until my due date) I am way too tired to even consider being on my feet in the office or the library anymore.

For example, today I took two naps and it’s not even 11:30PM.

But everything is fine with Baby Pick. He is estimated to be 9.9lbs according to our last scan/ultrasound, so once we speak to the doctor on Christmas Eve, we’ll have a plan as to what to do as far as delivery is concerned. I think they’re gunning for induction the week of New Year’s, which I’m not keen on, but we’ll see what they say.

While I’ve been home, I’ve gotten a lot of Christmas wrapping done in case I’m otherwise engaged at the hospital or something. We bought all of our groceries last Friday so the house is full of snacks and everything we need for a traditional Christmas dinner (turkey crown, turkey gravy, rolls, parsnips, roast potatoes, mashed potatoes, carrots, pigs in blankets, stuffing balls, and brussel sprouts). I haven’t done anything really and I feel incredibly bad that Mister Pick has had to do all the things to get ready for Baby and the holidays. Fingers crossed I recover quickly after Baby arrives. I miss walking the dog in the mornings.

Now that I’m off work and have some waiting around time, I’ve picked up The Cheerleaders as my current Kindle read. I also want to get back to writing and I’m itching to start crafting a project. I have the idea that I’ll just write all the books and so many authors who are writing all genres of YA and MG just make me all the more motivated to get back to the task of creativity. It’s something I really do miss.

And it’s not like I don’t have tons of ideas and topics I’ve jotted down over the last year to keep me busy. The idea of flexing and toning those muscles of creativity really is true and when you get out of the groove of it because of life and whatnot, it’s even more daunting to get back to it.

With Baby on the way and New Year’s approaching, I’ve also been in the mindset of setting some goals for 2020. I admit that it’s all very traditional: be a good mom, be a good wife, get back to a healthy weight, run my 5K again, write all the books, and things like that.

So hopefully during my next post I can update everyone on how that’s going and maybe Baby Pick will have shown up in the world to give me a little more motivation and a little more understanding of what’s most important in the world. Until then, Merry Christmas!

October prepping and returning from vacation

It's October! We're back from our holidays and went from 35C/95F temperatures to 8C/48F. It's appropriately autumnal in Newcastle with the fog and the rain, as is expected. While we were away it only rained maybe a couple of times and we spent two glorious weeks in Disney, Universal, and Cocoa Beach.

What I took home from the trip were a couple of bags of flavored coffee, some Christmas ornaments (because this year will be quite special), some baby onesies, and a cold. So going back to work this week with jet lag, a tiredness that comes from being six months pregnant, and a stuffy nose has not been that pleasant. However, after sleeping a lot this weekend, I think I'll be ready to take on the next 10 weeks of work before my maternity leave.

Ten. Weeks. That's all I have left. I think that freaks me out more than labor and delivery at this point, as well as being off of work for a whole year. I keep being assured that I won't care about the goings on at the library while I'm away, but I'm a control freak and have severe FOMO, so if Baby Pick supersedes all of that, I'll be pleasantly surprised.

What I noticed about holidaying in the Central Florida area is that Disney is just so much better than the other parks. I know I'm a Disney fan girl and all, but the amount of rude staff we came across during our one day at Volcano Bay water park and the severe lack of organization we encountered at Sea World just proves that Disney sets a higher bar for customer service.

For example: Preferred Parking at Sea World costs $35 and regular parking costs $25. Everyone was parking in the same rows in the same area so we wasted $10 on that. Plus, the queue to get in was miles long, including the self service kiosk, so it would have taken ages just to get into the park. I investigated buying the tickets online, but unlike Disney, it didn't tell you up front before you paid, what dates the tickets were valid for. It's not until you leave the tickets in your cart and you get an email later saying, "Don't you want these tickets that let you go into the park three days after purchase?" If I had bought them and tried to go into the park the next day, as we intended, I would have been even more disappointed because we tried to go over on our last weekend in Florida.

Mister Pick was bummed out about this because he wanted to see the new Sesame Street land, the Halloween events, and experience the beer festival, but I think that was the reason so many people were trying to get into the park at the same time. Other people in our parking row did the same thing we did, got to the gate then realized it wasn't worth it, and turned around and went home having wasted $25-$35 on parking. (We did sent an email to Sea World about this and we got a parking pass for next year.)

With Volcano Bay, Mister Pick went as far as to write an email of complaint about the rude staff. A lot of the time there was no please or thank you, there was no finesse or love for their job that you see at Disney. There was, "You need to move the line here!" or even having rafts for the rides thrown at customers. What irritated me the most was the couple of bits of wrong information we received. I specifically asked at one of the lunch cafeterias if the park unlimited drinks cups could be used at the adjacent hotel, Cabana Bay, where we were staying. We were told, "yes," only to find out that was just wrong. Also, when we left the park, there was a staff member blowing bubbles (because that makes it seem fun to be there!) and she didn't stop when I approached her, then gave me wrong directions to get back to the hotel.

It wasn't anything major, and we did enjoy our time there. I loved the wave pool and Mister Pick had a fine time on all of the slides, especially the lazy river, but it was just that little attention to detail when it comes to customer service. As someone who works in customer service day in and day out, I can tell you full well how high expectations result in higher quality treatment of customers.

Aside from that, everything was good. We did experience the drunken nightmare that is EPCOT Food and Wine Festival on a Saturday and I can safely say I will never do that again. People just loud, shouty, and making a point to draw attention to themselves. I even saw two women cursing each other out in a line for the ladies' toilets, children in tow, all because they were off their face at two o'clock in the afternoon. It was so busy and so hot and if you go there just to enjoy the park, a weekday is your best bet because, wow. Those Florida Passholders treat that like a bachelorette/bachelor party on a weekend. (Most importantly, not a time to bring children unless you want them to experience brawls and lack of security.)

Other than that, it was great. We saw a lot of my parents who are doing well (except my dad caught my cold, poor guy). We went to Galaxy’s Edge (!!!) and saw the new Toy Story Land. I didn't go overboard with the eating because I had my glucose test when I came back home (still waiting to hear results of that), but I enjoyed cake and (low carb) ice cream on my birthday. I wasn't in the mood for a lot of shopping either, but I managed to bring back the essential snacks, and souvenirs for my co-workers, as well as my own gifts mentioned above.

Oh, and I didn't spend too much at Michaels. I was very proud of myself, considering that I was in Happy Planner Heaven and would only have that chance once.

So now that I have all of the planners, including my Academic Passion Planner that's on the way, I'll be prepped for some time with Baby and being at home for, hopefully, some creative time. I'd love to do even 25k words for Nanowrimo this year, but the more I don't write, the more daunting it seems. I keep hearing about people on social media who are fast typers and they write a book in a month anyway. I used to do that but they weren't good and it was the editing that was more frustrating than anything. That means I'd like to have a more organized approach to what I'm going to work on and at least have some sort of plot structure in place before I try to work through the story.

But October is here! Soon it will be Halloween, with Thanksgiving around the corner. I don't look forward to the frost coming in because I'm terrified of slipping and falling as it is, let alone being ungraceful and pregnant, but I'll take precautions and take it easy.

In the meantime, I hope everyone is choosing their costumes, reading spooky books, stockpiling their candy and having a fab month so far.

Author podcasts and finding Baby's gender

Well, we're having a boy! I'm sure it will thrill our son that I've already shared our pictures on Facebook, so to spare him the further humiliation, I've not posted the prize-winning scan photo on my blog. It's not long now until we head to Florida for our holiday. I am so ready for this. I'm sure it's the pregnancy hormones, but I get so overwhelmed during the day with the running around, the people, and the being up for over 8 hours. So, I have four months left until Baby arrives. I sort of seems like plenty of time and it also sort of seems like it's coming up very shortly. In order to prepare for my upcoming maternity leave, I'm working on being prepared for getting a book done (at least one) while I'm spending most of the time at home, not sleeping. The ways that I've done this are taking notes on my phone, setting up BookFunnel, and listening to my author/writer/creative podcasts. Here's a list of what podcasts I've been listening to:

• Create If Writing
• Stop Writing Alone
• Don't Keep Your Day Job
• The Creative Penn
• The Writer Files
• Write Now
• Write-Minded
• Writing Excuses
• Smart Podcast, Trashy Books
• You're Welcome with Hilary Rushford
• You're Booked

I commute a lot so having lots of options for motivation and inspiration is a big plus when the rest of the day is spent on the day job. What I find so helpful is that all of these podcasts have little gems of insight into how you want your author brand and writing to work. If one isn't fitting your mood or your needs for the day, you can always go to something else and come back to the episode later. I love music, but having a little bit of chatter in the background breaks the monotony. Plus, it keeps your brain interested in your creative endeavours even if you can't sit and work on your current project. We've also been in our house for over a year now. That flew by, but we're still in love with the place. Pick Manor is being slowly transformed into a place for a child to live. We have paint, we have nursery items, we have lampshades, and we have a new kitchen sideboard for bottles and baby feeding items. I still don't know how we'll be ready as I'm starting to feel like I'm training for a marathon. Steve has been working overtime and I'm exhausted all the time, so it limits our daily excursions. Still, the nice September air has crept in this morning, so I feel autumn is upon us. I hope everyone has a fantastic September. See you in October!  

From the end spring new beginnings

It is my pleasure to report that we’re expecting a Baby Pick on 1st January 2020! We’ve been wanting a baby for a while so the blessing of a child is all the more special for us.

Now, in preparation for the oncoming maternity leave I’m trying to decide at least how I’m going to use the time wisely in terms of writing. It’s been ages since I’ve outlined or attempted to work on scenes that I’ve already written and rewritten, but I’m really eager to get back into it.

And, yes, the time will be up at all hours, tending to a newborn and I’ll probably be too tired to even consider writing. But in case it’s not as awful as all that and I do have some time to be productive, I want to be ready. Of course I also want to get back to the gym and Weight Watchers and yeah, maybe I’m being way too ambitious on this one.

So my question is how? How do I get prepared for nine months to potentially a year of looking after baby and getting back into writing? So far, the only decent plan I have is, is to get an outline ready. Now, this is probably pretty standard for writing in any situation for most of you, but I am terrible at plots and outlines. I have good ideas for scenes, the beginning, and the end. What happens in the middle? What builds tension? How will the story be structured? Who knows?

I took it upon myself to order a Page One Writer’s Notebook to see if that helped with my characterization, plot, scenes, research, outline, etc. Of course there’s always Scrivener, but in the tradition of using my bullet journal (again), I thought something tactile would be a little refreshing.

I’ve heard on a couple of occasions that social media is our reason for being too impatient and too tired to read and write. I’ve struggled with this for ages now and I couldn’t put my finger on what the problem was. I haven’t read much in a long time but I never equated it to a patience issues, I just thought I was too tired from work. However, when I was commuting on the bus, I read a lot more, so putting the phone away for a while and focusing on a book is possible.

That means my next six months will be not only preparing for an infant, but also having a go-to plan so if I am able to steal some minutes in the day, I will have something to work from. Maybe I’ll even get into a routine of sorts? Is that too much to hope for?

First draft in 2020? Surely this is a possibility.

New Year, new member of the family, and a new outlook on life? Most definitely.

Easter bank holiday wind down and catch up

Good afternoon and Happy Easter Sunday!

It’s been a nice break from the daily grind these past few days and we’ve actually taken next week off as well to enjoy some traveling to go along with our rest and relaxation.

On Friday we were going to go to Sunderland Museum and Gardens (and library!) for the da Vinci drawings exhibit. However, once we got onto the highway, we realized that everyone and their mother was out cruising, so we headed to IKEA (why not) and bought patio furniture instead.

Afterwards, we hung out on the back patio and enjoyed the warm weather. It was in the 70s this weekend, and was actually very warm for people like us who are used to wearing quilted coats and woolly hats every day.

On Saturday, we headed to our favorite place – Beamish (as seen in the main photo above). Now, I was all gung-ho about the fish and chips and the walking and the sunshine … until I got overheated and sick. Being overheated is just weird. You’re not physically too hot. I wasn’t sweating to death or feeling hot, I just realized how dizzy and nauseous as we trekked around, so I had to cut the exploration short. I mean, we enjoyed the time we spent out, but I was really happy to be back in the car with the air conditioning.

Today is Easter Sunday! We started off with pancakes and a cuppa at our new patio set. Daisy has a pool that she’s still not completely sure about, but it feels nice to paddle around in when you’re wanting to cool down. Right now, Mister Pick is working on mounting our old TV up in the bedroom (we’re still technically moving in). We have the windows open and the cats are hanging out upstairs in the windowsills. All and all, it’s a perfect day.

I’ve been making my list of goals because I’m still working on the question of what I want to do with myself and where I see myself in ten years. (Anyone else who has the Rachel Hollis Start Today Journal knows what I’m talking about.) So, I’m looking up authors I admire and writing down places I’d like to go and really trying to wind down and focus on how I want to propel myself forward into the rest of the year.

Tomorrow is still up in the air, but we’ll make the most of it. After that, it’ll be traveling time and we’ll head to see The Pick family down in The Wirral for a bit.

In the meantime, I hope everyone has a fantastic Easter break!    

Bullet journals, Wallington, and not being discouraged

Well, this blog certainly isn't getting updated very often, even if I really want to post something, I never get around to it.

Since last time, I've started an apprenticeship for Team Leading and Management at work. That means I have a manager who mentors me and whom I shadow at one of the libraries along with my coursework that I need to do. I really like it so far and I'm happy that I decided to apply for it because I feel mentally challenged and satisfied doing this kind of work. Not that I'm not pleased at how much I help people with my regular IT teaching job in the libraries, I'm just happy that I have something else to add to my list of things I can do.

There were Team Leader jobs as secondments available this year but I do like where I am and I wanted to spend my extra energy in focusing on my apprenticeship. I’m sure the job would have helped me gather evidence for my course, but, again, I’d rather stay doing what I do because I think I help people.

Helping myself is another story. I’ve been trying to do the diet and exercise thing but, man, am I so tired these days. I was okay for a bit when I got my bicycle because I was ready for sun and summertime, but now I’m not doing as well as I hoped.

I’ve been writing a book, I guess, about how these things have caught up with me. I’ve never been so stinking frustrated with trying to write, blog, work, exercise, lose weight, spend time with Mister Pick, enjoy my time at home, and do things outside of the house so I don’t end up being a hermit. (Although, being a hermit isn’t looking so bad these days.) I listened to a podcast yesterday that said if we keep stepping over the crap that’s flung onto us, we’ll eventually get out of the pit. Good advice and I have to take that all to heart when I’m feeling like the me I’m trying to build just isn’t showing up.

I mean, surely everyone feels like there’s just too much we should be doing, don’t they? I had to make Sundays be my non-social media days because I was getting overwhelmed with the comparisons. I should be writing my book. I should be traveling. I should be making a business. I should be starting a podcast. I should be engaging on social media.

The funny thing is, once I stopped using social media as much, I realized how much I don’t need it. It’s a useful tool, don’t get me wrong, but because I’m kind of a special creature – American, in England, still don’t know what I’m doing, the usual stuff – I get really down when I see people appearing to know what they want and doing it.

But, alas, that’s still one to work on this year. 42 is definitely an interesting one, I tell you.

Also, I’m still watching videos about bullet journaling and although I have my Passion Planner (one for daily agendas and one more for academic tasks), I was curious about all the binder planners that people were posting on Instagram. I was going to get one online but I happened to see an A5 agenda binder at Wilko’s after work this week, so I’m going to print some free planner sheets to add to it. I even bought a small 6 ring hole punch to get working on these. I’m wanting habit trackers and while it takes all the artistic design out of making my own for my bullet journal, having ready-made pages may really help me in the long run.

The photo above was from our recent trip to Wallington. We’d been before, years ago, before we had Daisy, so we took her to explore the vast farmland. Of course the sheep weren’t interested in a giant barking goldendoodle but, hey, who can blame them?

I have another week of work before Easter and our break to Liverpool and Hoylake so I’ll be sure to update on that trip to see the Pick family. Until then, grab your eggs and your bunnies and enjoy the upcoming holiday.

Visiting a lighthouse, using planners, and staying motivated

Well, it's the middle of February so that means I'm still plugging away at my goal-oriented planning.

From the photo above you can see that I have been outside and getting fresh air. Last weekend Mister Pick and I took Daisy to Souter Lighthouse which was interesting even though Daisy acted up and tried to jump on every dog and human that came close to her. (Goldendoodles are insane, I tell you.)

I went in the lighthouse on my own while Steve took her for a walk and the gal at reception told me that it was 75 or so stairs and the last bit was very steep. Now, me being me, I heard that and thought immediately, "Well, I won't be climbing that then, will I?"

But I did.

It was freaky though because on the way back down you have to go backward like on a ladder and my life flashed before my eyes a bit because I could see myself falling straight back and them having to find Steve on the beach to tell him that his wife had broken both of her legs in a freak lighthouse incident.

But I didn't, and I was proud of myself.

I'm such a wuss, I swear.

Anyway, so I was pleased with myself after that and looked at the little lighthouse cottage before going outside and hanging out with Daisy while Steve took a look inside.

Having a National Trust membership is nice when the weather permits you to explore things nearby.

We also took a walk down the coast, hence where this photo was taken, and enjoyed ourselves thoroughly.

I was off on Wednesday and that was the first time that Daisy went to doggy daycare when I was home so I felt like a free woman who didn't have to check on the baby every five minutes. I went to the dentist, the gym (hooray!), Weight Watchers (lost 3 pounds -- more hooray), and bought myself a bike because I want one. (I totally need a wicker basket for the front of it!)

Valentine's Day was good. We had M&S Dine in for Two (tradition) and I got my super cool Cath Kidston Bambi bag!

Today we took a walk along the river and I found lots of nice paths where I can ride my new bike, so I'm super excited. This bike is by no means the fancy cool Trek that I have left in Florida, but it's cute and comfortable from what I could tell from the showroom, so I'm ready to take up casual cycling again.

We also had a chance to look around our new neighborhood and was pleasantly surprised at all that was going on. We even had a couple of people stop to chat with us and we get the idea that we're notorious (in a good way) because the couple who owned our house before us were well-liked around here, and I'm sure they let everyone know that we'd be turning up with this mad dog.

Now, I've focused on my good things because all of this is part of my planning for achievement and working on spending family time as well as my fitness which really, really needs for me to keep myself accountable for each week.

Again, I'm really stoked about my Passion Planner, and my This is My Era planner. I still find it so easy to be lazy and procrastinate but this has helped me put things in perspective, even if it's small personal objectives. Not that health and creativity are small topics.

Like, one of my objectives is to amp up bookblogarama.com but it's going to be so much work and it's so much easier to just not start getting involved. However, I really want to have more book reviews and interact with more book bloggers so I'm going to have to just dig in and get that started.

I'm also listening to podcasts which I never did before but it seems to put me in a better frame of mind for the rest of the day, as opposed to music where my mind can wander.

The writing is okay too. I at least work on something most days, so that's a huge accomplishment considering how little writing I was doing for the last few years, honestly.

And with that said, here's hoping everyone had a fab Valentine's Day and enjoys the rest of their February!

Dreams on your heart and plain old goals

Last post I touched on the idea of writing goals and keeping track of my book projects, word count, and so on.

I also mentioned that I’ve been listening and reading more about productivity and goals. One of the books I’m currently in the middle of is Eat that Frog which is about not procrastinating and getting the most difficult task of the day done and over with first. Makes sense. I’ve also jumped on the bandwagon and started reading and listening to Rachel Hollis. I have a Getting Stuff Done planner and a This Is My Era planner (which I still need to set up), as I wait for my Passion Planner that’s coming by next month (or so the tracking information tells me).

So if you know what tasks you need to do in daily life, you sort of do them in order. At least that’s how I do them. I get up, I feed the cats or take the dog out, I make coffee, I eat breakfast, and if I have to go to work, I get ready to do just that before leaving the house at whatever required time. Those are my priorities from 6AM-8:30AM at least.

The rest of the day is doing work-type library and IT requirements and each day is different and those, again, go in order of operations. If it’s Monday, I run and send out financial reports. If it’s Tuesday, I do my stock inventory. If it’s Wednesday I’m teaching a class in the morning. If it’s Thursday or Friday, I’m teaching all day. Each sessions has it’s own agenda depending on who attends, so those couple of hours may or may not entail something I have already planned out.

Now, I know those are the shallow, or the dry jobs that are required of me. The routine that I have delegates my tasks.

However, most of my podcasts, blogs, books, whatever talk about your goals. What is your big dream?

Easy: to write. Or, more specifically, to be an author. Name on scads of books that sits on virtual and tangible shelves that lots of people read and enjoy. That’s the dream.

But apparently that has to be more specific because I need steps to achieving that main, attainable in the future goal.

Most of us have been around the block enough time to know that our number one aim each day is being chained to our desk for an amount of time that allows us to produce content in literary form. That is self explanatory. We also know that once the writing is done and we’ve gone through National Writing Month or whatever and gotten your 50,0000 or more words down for a rough draft, we need to edit. Then we need critique partners, beta readers, proof-readers, and anyone else who can give us some nice, solid opinions before we edit again.

Then we can think about submitting to agents, or start working on self-publishing. We needs to market and promote. We need to sing our own praises the best we can.

And once we run that through for a good while, it’s time to start again. Heck, we’re all probably writing the next book, or books, already.

Eventually we’ll get to where we want to be. Sure, most of us want to be on the NY Times Best Sellers list, so we can just write that down on our dreams list. But what will get us to get to the dream – good old fashioned hard work. That’s going to be true for anything, so yeah, planning out each step of the way is great but what I have to remember, plan on, meditate on, and aim for is to write. every. single. day.

Bullet journaling, planners, writing goals, and being a terrible artist

I think I've given up on my bullet journal.

Here me out; it’s really time consuming. I used to watch Noelle on Seventeen’s Bullet Journal channel to get ideas on how to set up my weekly and daily spreads. (Little Coffee Fox is good too.) That was fine because it wasn’t not creative, it was just very simple to follow and get basic ideas on options to get yourself going. However, the new host is artistically talented and most of her bullet journaling videos are about doodles and drawing – neither which is can do. While I really appreciate going outside of the box, bullet journaling just seems too much like a sketch book than a planner. If I had loads of time, I would get into it, and I have attempted a few doodles from “How to draw a …” tutorials on Youtube, but that just takes up time and I only have that every other weekend at most.

Also, bullet journals need a lot of equipment to go along with it – brush pens, highlighters, washi tape, etc. I can’t take that all with me when I’m traveling about at work. I can’t very well sit in the lunch room with all of my art supplies just to draw out a weekly spread. It not only looks strange to regular 9-5 people (remember, I work in the library so reading a book is about the only acceptable activity for lunchtime other than eating lunch), but it will get people asking what I’m doing.

And, yes, I know I could set up the spreads with pencil or even pen and do the designing later but again, time consuming.

So, as much as I like my bullet journal it’s ended up being something “fun” to play around with once in a while, but it doesn’t serve the initial purpose of my planning companion to take with me everywhere. I did buy a kid’s journal that has all the spreads set up, like the trackers and books to be read, so I could fill that in and serve the basic purpose of having the bullet journal in the first place.

I have a Happy Planner from the States that I like to fill in when I’m home, but, again, it’s way too heavy and inconvenient to have in a handbag when you’re going around from library to library every day.

What I’ve decided to do is to get a Passion Planner from the States (why are we only obsessed with planning back home?) that should be portable and functional. I also have just a plain notebook that I can jot down the ideas for my blog entries because that was something I wanted to keep track of. (Also, there’s an interesting post comparing the Passion Planner vs Bullet Journal.)

For writing, I honestly don’t know how to keep tabs of my word count and how to set goals for that. I have a handful of book projects I want to work on and I thought the bullet journal would work well in keeping myself on track with my word count, plots, scenes, etc. I think the notebook is just going to have to do the trick.

If I don’t have time to doodle in a bullet journal, I certainly won’t have any time to actually write.

And I will add that setting goals is a strange one. I’ve been listening to lots of podcasts on the subject and still reading Eat that Frog. (Who got the idea that library workers have time to read all day? Puh-lease!) How do people have clear ideas for what they want 10 years from now and how to get to that goal? My goal has always been to write and publish my books (self-published or otherwise). My steps to reaching that goal are the same as they are for everyone – write, edit, rewrite, read, share, edit, rewrite, and so forth. It’s the time that gets me and the time management that I need to keep myself on target as I’m sure it is for most people with a day time job and a ton of books they want to show the world.

Countdown to moving day

This will probably be the last post I’ll write in our flat. It’s now Sunday and we’re scheduled to move to our new house on Wednesday. Our movers are booked for 8AM, I was able to swap my Wednesdays off, and we have a hotel room to keep Jake (the cat) out of the way and relaxed (somewhat) while the moving chaos ensues.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again – moving is a complete pain. I mean, I’m super excited, don’t get me wrong, but when you have no control over the aspects of if the solicitors will get the paperwork from everyone in time, and if you can or can’t get the day off just to sign your contracts, it’s sort of a quiet anxiety. You want to get upset and panic, but there really is nothing you can do but wait on things to fall into place.

But, it’s done for the most part. The last bit of paperwork the solicitor needed from us was the house’s building insurance that we transferred from the flat. The insurance company finally emailed that to us yesterday, so that’s been forwarded on to the solicitor’s office. Now, on Monday, Mister Pick has to give them the deposit on the house and we’re good to go.

We haven’t ordered any new furniture yet because I want to be there and get an idea of what color couch I really want and how high of a dining room table I’ll need. I do know that I need a washer, a dryer, and a refrigerator when we first get there, so we’re going to look at PC World for those today.

In the meantime, we’re packing. Massively packing. We’re only going 3.3 miles down the road, so it’s not like I have to worry about anything getting lost in the mix or anything. I’ve labelled things so far (basically, all of my clothes).

We were going to go to the Brontë Parsonage this coming bank holiday weekend, but with the move, we’ve cancelled that. This is still a big one on my list, so maybe Mister Pick, Daisy and I can travel down there on a regular weekend, just to nose about and spend the night. That would be nice.

Other than that, I’ve seen the BBC iPlayer documentary on Sylvia Plath, I’m still watching OITNB S6, and I picked up Fear Street: You May Now Kill the Bride last night.

So, yeah. Next time I post here I’ll be at our new house (or some random public place, let’s be honest).

Until then, enjoy your last days of summer before school starts (for those in the UK). I’m scheduled to go back to my MSc in Computing and Information Science in September too (plus going to Florida!) so I’ll be right there with you.

Rainy weekend with Netflix and my bullet journal

Guys, I did absolutely nothing all weekend and it was glorious.

As I’m sure I’ve mentioned oodles of times, I work every other weekend. This weekend, I didn’t have to work. It’s been insanely hot up here (but not as bad as down south, so I hear) and we were expecting thunderstorms at the end of the week. Luckily, we had awesome rain since Friday and the temperature went down to 52F last night. (I still don’t do Celsius temperatures.)

So while it poured down rain and the fresh, cool breeze made the flat much more bearable to live in, I had zero motivation to go anywhere. I was happy watching Netflix, writing in my bullet journal, and playing The Sims. No, I did not write. No, I did not read. These activities seem to be more weekday things when I’m out and need calming distractions from the daily grind. (Then I can complain when I don’t have time to spend lots of time on them.)

Hanging out with Steve, Daisy, and Jake all weekend has been wonderful. I just felt like I needed to be shut away from the world to recuperate from the constant running around that I usually do in the week. I go to six libraries in 5 days. My job requires me to be around people all of the time. I’m chatty all of the time. I’m efficient, helpful, prompt, courteous, and everything in between all week. I think I deserve some max chill out days, especially when the weather isn’t very welcoming.

What’s been keeping me nice and relaxed lately has been my bullet journal. Now, I’ve said before on Twitter that I refuse to post any photos of my pages because I’m just not an artist and the pages look like a janky mess. Steve, who is an artist, has suggested that it’s because I rush my designs. I rush everything because I always feel that urgency – things must be done now! Quick! Go! But, doing design and art means practice and patience, so the #bujo (yeah, I did it) is really helpful for me to focus on something tactile that, I wouldn’t say, de-stresses me because it isn’t a stress I feel, it’s just a nice, calming activity.

I remember working at the school and giving hyperactive kids coloring books and puzzles. They would be fixated on the task for a good while and I can see now that it was probably something they really needed instead of being fidgety and trying to find an outlet for their overactive brains. Personally, it’s just really entertaining and I love watching the videos on how other people use their bullet journals. That in itself is really addictive.

So … I have a new hobby? Cool.

For Netflix, I watched the first episode of Season Six of OITNB, but I didn't watch more because I'm still on The Staircase, which is really addictive.

Seriously, guys. I think I should have been a detective, or a lawyer, or at least a police officer. There’s still time to get a new career, isn’t there?

Anyway, so that’s how the weekend has gone. I have the rest of the evening to talk a walk with Daisy, take a bath, write something that resembles fiction, talk to my parents on the phone, and hang out with Steve until bedtime. I’d love to have a holiday where I just stayed home for about a week, but right now I think that won’t be until after Christmas. Oh well, I’ll just have to keep my self in check and make sure that I give myself plenty of recovery time.

Actually, I should block that out in my daily bullet journal entries.

Things that won’t happen in 2018

New Year's Resolutions. I usually do them, but this year, I'm not so sure I should bother.

Last year I put something like I was going to do well at my job, eat better, exercise more, write my books, read my books, and be a genuinely 100% perfect individual. It didn’t happen, or actually it happened in moments, so maybe I did okay in the end, but if I were to write the same tired goals down, I’d just be wasting time and kidding myself.

So here’s what’s not going to happen in 2018:

I’m not going to finish a book. I know that because as has been for the last two years, I do not have time. My job is an on-the-go kind of job so I don’t sit and ponder my next scene as much as I used to. I’m also around people all the time, so I can’t focus on anything creative. I only really feel myself and focused on creative tasks when I’m home for a few days (like Christmas and New Year’s Day). Sure, I can write a few paragraphs here and there, but it doesn’t amount to anything. I could write short stories, but I gave that up a long time ago. I could piece the stories together, sure, but that would take planning and organization which, again, takes time that I don’t have.

I won’t read more. This is from the same exact reasons as the writing, although I do have time set aside for reading, I usually spend it staring off into space on the bus, or looking at my phone. I still buy books and I still like to promote them on my blog but I only recently updated my Currently Reading list on Goodreads, and it’s sort of a lie. I’m reading It, got two from Santa. I bought a couple on the £.99 Kindle sale before Christmas too.

The eating more healthy is a tricky one because that’s a big priority for me, so tell you what, I’ll really try to accomplish this one. As much as the non-writing makes me so disconnected from myself, not taking care of myself is rotten. I can’t dress up. I can’t feel good. I haven’t been able to go to Weight Watchers in ages because inevitably something happens after work on Wednesdays and I never get there. Now we have the dog, so I can’t go straight to a meeting on my half day because I have to go home and check on her. Every other Wednesday maybe or just bite the bullet and go to the super packed evening meetings (even though there is limited parking at our gym even in the afternoon on weekdays). But, whatever, if I don’t let the work schedule drain me of all motivation to do anything other than eat Greggs for lunch, then fine, I’ll do it.

Exercise. Okay, this is maybe do-able. Again, with the dog, I’ll have to be outside more and walking with her. I get up early with her anyway, so I have time to get outside and maybe make a breakfast that isn’t instant. Also, Steve and I have decided to do the Great North Run this year because everyone else loses weight from running, so this may be the only way I’m going to get motivated to do the same. We jogged a bit in October but once the dog came around and the cold set in, we stopped and adjusted our schedules around her. As she gets older, hopefully the time needed to take a run will be available.

Live in the same flat. We put ours up on the market yesterday. Now, since England has funny rules about house purchases, you won’t be “taken seriously” by a seller of a house until you have “money in the bank” with your property already sold. Doesn’t matter if you have been guaranteed a mortgage based on your income and amount your current mortgage is. Even if you’re going to sell, you have to do it first, end up without a place to live, so we may have to live in rented accommodation for a while, until we can find a new place to live. Apparently this is their “property chain” that’s totally common and no one questions it. Also, if you make an offer on a house, you’re not legally obligated to go through with the sale. You can put in offers for all sorts of houses and decide on one. Most places we’ve looked at so far (although they tell you not to bother since no one thinks anyone actually has money to buy anything) told us that their house was sold, but two months down the line the buys pulled out of the sale. This is normal, I take it, and no doubt will be stuff we’ll have to deal with with the sale of our place. But hopefully this year, we will get it sold and move into a house in the same area. (Or America??)

Just be a foreign resident of England. I applied for my UK citizenship last October. I’ve had my fingerprints done and all the fines paid, so I’m just waiting for a letter to say I can go to a swearing in ceremony in town. Exciting!

Now, I’d say I’d expect a family to turn up and to get a certificate in Computer Science, but those are things I’d really like to have happen and I don’t know if I’m going to get there by December. Hopefully though, I can have all those little hopes and dreams reached so I can have new ones for next year. (Or at least go back to the tried and true ones for 2019).

Anyway, hope everyone has a Happy New Year and hope 2018 treats you well.

Partying, writing, and letting my husband drive my car

Once again, it's the weekend, so it's time to write a blog post.
Not much has happened in the last week or so, but nonetheless, I'll mention a few things.
First of all, Steve got his Theory Test done, so he's half way through towards getting his license. This meant that he needed extra time with my car, which was something I really thought I could ignore until he had his own car. After years of having the dreaded manual shift and almost burning the whole clutch out waiting in traffic for an hour one morning, going to work, I traded it in for a little automatic Toyota Yaris. (I love that car!) Now I can concentrate on the road and cars and roundabouts -- not the stupid gear shift, hand brake, clutch control nonsense that's absolutely painful when sitting in some horrendous traffic through Newcastle each morning.
Anyway, I called our insurance company yesterday and we have Steve as an infrequent driver on my car. So he drove me to Beamish yesterday on the windy, country roads. To be fair, he did all right, but I was convinced I was going to be run off the road because I was so close to the left-hand side of the car.
I think it's fair to say I have an issue with the lack of control.
Work has been the same as usual. I'm still counting down the days until my holiday (5 weeks and two days). In the meantime, I have work parties that I can go to, but as all introverts have to struggle with -- do I go and be social or do I stay home and wish I had a social life? My main problem is location. I work every other weekend, and I live an hour away on the bus. That means if I do go anywhere, I have to take public transport to work, get a lift to the party (or even take a bus and hang out until official party time) then get a taxi home.
Plus, is it my age, or is hanging out in the bar for hours really, really boring? I mean, when I was in Florida, I could hang out with my friends for hours but we generally mixed it up with shopping, dining, drinking, and nightclub dancing. Then we could add some well-deserved drama when we were around other people who did strange things at said nightclub.
I know it's a very British thing to just hanging out at a pub, but I've tried it but after 2 hours, I'm just bored to tears. I guess if you go to different places it's more fun but, meh.
I did buy some cool Chelsea boots for the occasion though, just in case I want to go anywhere.
I don't like not being thin anymore either. Being chubby and trying to look cute is just not one of my strong suits. One of the girls at work said she'd pick me up and I could get ready at her house. My first thought was, "I'll be dressed for work. That's as ready and as dressy as I get these days."
But at any rate, the writing has been still a struggle, especially to stay focused and get chipping away at the actual project. I always liked pantsing my projects and letting them grow organically, as Stephen King says, but without a clear direction, I'm just writing bits of a whole and I need to know how they fit together.
Amy Pohler is right. Writing is hard.
If I were able to just write and hang out and not have the outside forces of the universe giving me reasons to stay distracted, I would have had a couple more rough drafts under my belt. I've even thought of just going back to one of my last projects and editing the crap out of that in order to have something productive to construct. At least then I could have an aim in mind because I know where I wanted those projects to go.
Instead, however, I'm blogging and playing The Sims 4 and hanging out at home with Steve and Jake (the cat) as I always do on Sundays. At least I have written something today, but that's small potatoes compared to what I should be doing.
It's a beautiful day outside and I'm indoors. Such is my life.

House redecorating, holiday prep, driving, and losing writing

Well, it's my day off so it's blogging day.

Since my last post in June we've been doing more house remodeling than traveling. First of all, we live in a little two bedroom flat. It was built in the 80s so it's not that old but it hasn't been renovated for ages, so it needs a good make-over.
The first thing we did was get new blinds for the place. Steve stays home to work on Tuesdays, and with the sun blaring at us from the valley around 2PM on, it gets unbearably hot in the living room. (Insert my whining about why there is no air conditioning in the United Kingdom.) So I saw an ad in the paper that I happened to be looking at in the library one day and they had everything measured and cut within a few days of my initial call. Apparently, our flat has bigger windows than most homes, so I am pretty pleased that not only do we have an awesome view, but we have an awesome ability to look at it.
Now we have blackout blinds in each room, so I can come home from a long day of helping all the people with their IT queries, draw the blinds, grab a cider from the fridge and relax. It's a priceless luxury, I tell you that much.
The next thing on our list is the bathroom. We're getting the full suite redone so I actually have counter space (hooray!) instead of just dealing with a pedestal sink that can barely hold a toothbrush and a bottle of handwash. Now, the best part about our plumber coming to see us was that he immediately commented on how hot and humid our flat was. We have never had a vent working in our bathroom and there's no window to let the steam out, so it gets really damp in our place. Of course, neither of us have been smart enough to put two and two together and figure out that what we need is a dehumidifier along with a vent for the bathroom.
Now we have the dehumidifier and the ventilation will be included in our new bathroom suite which will be installed when we get back from the Florida trip in October. (Another hooray!)
Our other revamping adventure includes a kitchen which I'm still skeptical about. We planned everything with IKEA a couple of weeks ago, and as awesome as the thing seems, it's a big process for a little flat. I mean if we sell or rent the place out, it will increase the value, I guess. However, I will finally have a dishwasher again (I've been without for 6 and 1/2 years) plus a big refrigerator (ours is about 4 feet high and 2 feet wide - keeping a Thanksgiving turkey in it is non-negotiable). This will be tough to part with if we move from our little flat on the cul-de-sac with the awesome view.

Now, for the traveling bit -- we've taken a small visit to Washington Old Hall because it is the home of George Washington's ancestors. We've planned out our Florida trip and instead of taking a mini holiday to Nashville or Las Vegas while we're in the USA, I made the executive decision for us to take a cruise over one of the weekends we didn't have anything else planned.
I have never thought I wanted to go on a cruise but for the price and convenience, not to mention the fact that I don't have to drive or be mindful of some itinerary for a few days, I chose a 3-day cruise to The Bahamas. If it's too crowded or we hate it, fair enough, we don't have to do it again. But, if my parents end up moving back to Ohio (something they've considered since 1989) then this may be our last chance to go on one. My friends in Florida have been on zillions and enjoy it, so I may as well give it a whirl.

Speaking of driving, I've been practicing my driving a little more now that it's half term (school's out!) so the roads are less hectic. I still take the bus on Tuesdays because I like using it as reading day. Long bus rides = getting reading done. So I've driven to the coast on the weekends, even went to a library by myself in the car. I used to absolutely love driving, now it just makes me nervous if I don't know where I'm going.

Steve has just passed his Driving Theory Test though, so he's well on his way to getting his license. I'm so excited for him because he's wanted this for a very long time. Plus, it will be an immense help to have two drivers within the same household. When you want to take the bus you can, but if not, there's always the car.

For the writing bit -- I was complaining on Twitter that I had lost a bit of writing that I remembered doing not too long ago. It was part of a WIP that I've been playing around with for a couple of years now. It wasn't monumental or anything, it just had the tone right for the relationship between the mother and the daughter. I use Evernote, Scrivener, OneNote, Novlr, and 750 Words to keep my writing available on the fly. I've had to hunt before for bits of writing, but I usually find it. This one has just vanished and I honestly don't remember where or when I write the scene.

So absolutely frustrating.

Anyway, my life has been about work and I think Steve is fed up with hearing about me whine about it. I'm in desperate need of a vacation so next month I will be in Florida with the biggest smile on my face. (More and more hoorays!)

York and Everyday Things

Yesterday, I surprised Steve with a trip to York so we could finally visit the Railway Museum. I was really surprised how big the place was, and we spent hours in there looking at everything. Personally, I was interested in the railway library called Search Engine (how appropriate).

Other than that, it's been all about work. I am trying to get back into the mental headspace of writing. Really, I'm trying to convince myself that A. I have time to write each day and B. Even if I just write a little each day, it's worth it. When I know I won't be able to keep my mind focused on a 50,000 word 1st draft of something for 2 months (if I split the normal 1667 word count into two), I just keep thinking that it's a failed effort.

However, I've been searching for inspiration and so far Gilbert's Big Magic has helped. She has a whole section on not quitting your day job while you write because if you require your creativity to pay your bills, especially before you've written your Eat, Pray, Love masterpiece/best-seller. I took this to heart and thought, yeah, I can chill out about that because I need to work and I'm just going to have to fit writing and using my time wisely around the schedule that I have at the moment.

“But to yell at your creativity, saying, “You must earn money for me!” is sort of like yelling at a cat; it has no idea what you’re talking about, and all you’re doing is scaring it away, because you’re making really loud noises and your face looks weird when you do that.”

This book also talks about how you're not going to succeed if you don't accept the tough bits. I, personally, do not like that after I've written, I have to rewrite, edit, find critique partners, rewrite again, find beta reader, and then maybe, hopefully, possibly snag an agent who maybe, hopefully, luckily, possibly get me a publishing deal. Yes, I hate the not-so-fun parts. I admit that wholeheartedly. I hate the idea of trying to make an author platform and pitching my ideas to potential agents. I don't really worry about the rejection because I sort of expect it, but knowing that I'll be rejected and knowing how tough it is. (Though you see people getting books deals for stuff that I think, "that's not that great" or "I could have written that" is equally as tormenting.)

But it has to be done, and right now I know it won't be done soon. I'm incredibly impatient. When I want something, I want it now. If I have to do stuff for it, fine, but I want the results to be swift and rewarding. With creating works of literature, I know that's just not how it goes. I have to be in it for the long haul, even if I think the finished product will never truly be done. (Another thing Gilbert talks about - perfectionism will keep your creativity from flowing.)

Other than that, I've been watching Orange is the New Black Season 5. I've been reading Dumplin' and The Hate U Give as I finish up Big Magic. My brother-in-law is getting married in July, so we'll be attending the wedding in Liverpool. And since today is Father's Day, I wished my Dad a very happy day. (And Steve too, even though we just have the cat and he pretty much runs our lives anyway.) And I've been playing The Sims 4: Parenthood, which is just an on-going thing that will never end for me and The Sims 4. We've been through too many years together to stop now.

For all of you doing JuNoWriMo, I salute you. Keep strong and write on! Find your inspiration and run with it.